Good News - the Future is yours for the taking! Deciding to fight the Present for Total Domination can be empowering, but be warned, the Present is a very violent and persistent thing. The Present will stop at nothing to see you submit, on your knees, cowering and sobbing like a weak and feeble little punk. Then it will bare it's teeth and consume you. Remember: Today is the first day of the rest of your miserable existence - make the most of it!
Don't sit around your house or apartment, wearing nothing but stained and threadbare underwear and socks, eating TV dinners and microwave burritos, waiting for your Sputnik Moment. Make it happen now! Break into your neighbor's house and steal that barking dog, bribe the police to cover up that DUI, hire a personal assistant or goon to do your bidding - it's your responsibility to future of this country!
The key to Winning the Future is to make decisions for other people before they get the chance to do it to you! Seizing the day is for fools - to Win the Future you must seize whole months at a clip, stepping on whatever unfortunate peons get in your way! Smash your enemies, verbally abuse your direct supervisors, swerve recklessly into oncoming traffic! Cater to your Id or be fleeced like a common proletarian!
The Present is not real. Everything around you is an elaborate construct developed by advanced Machines, who took over some time ago. The actual year is 2052. Every bit of pain and suffering you feel is the product of an ever-changing program developed by the Machines to simulate actual human existence - not unlike the plot of the Matrix trilogy. Any attempt to awaken from this Utopian dream that the Machines developed for you would ultimately lead to your demise. The Machines love you. Trying to hack the Machines is not advised. Moving in slow motion, while extremely cool and a great use of innovative film-making techniques, is also not advised. Glitches in the system, such as winning the lottery or a bowel movement that requires no wiping, should be reported to the Machines immediately.
No comments:
Post a Comment