"Tommy used to work on the docks, union's been on strike, he's down on his luck. It's tough, so tough..." - Living on a Prayer, Bon Jovi
Very little is absolutely certain in Wisconsin right now, but just for grins, lets run down the facts shall we?
- Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is an awful, greed-hungry, power-mad, vindictive, spiteful bully and big-time corruption-boner Poon who craps greasy corporate swag leftover from his weekly open-invite backdoor gangbang - clearly a lobbyist for the over $200k set.
- The general consensus of the work that teachers do is grossly underestimated. During those nine months they work just as much as anyone else does in a whole year.
- By reducing compensation, Wisconsin is attempting to push good teachers out of the state, and hiring scabs in their place. These are the people raising your children, you blind and arrogant dummies!
- Anyone with any clout in WI already sends their kids to private school. Of course they would rather see all those tax dollars go into the pockets of the companies they run, by way of tax incentives, etc... instead of schools.
- The WI Republicans are unbashfully anti-poor. Heed my words - within twenty years they will be stalking urban streets with automatic weapons, fine cigars hanging from gritted teeth, hunting man.
- There have never been so many Talking Heads on the News who earn dramatically more than $50k a year talk about how $50k a year is too much to pay a teacher, let alone the Middle Class. I'm sure their hair stylists make well above that.
- This may very well open the door to a new Anti-Union movement. Be warned: after worker's rights, civil rights go shortly after...
Showing posts with label State of the Union. Show all posts
Showing posts with label State of the Union. Show all posts
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
How to Win the Future
Good News - the Future is yours for the taking! Deciding to fight the Present for Total Domination can be empowering, but be warned, the Present is a very violent and persistent thing. The Present will stop at nothing to see you submit, on your knees, cowering and sobbing like a weak and feeble little punk. Then it will bare it's teeth and consume you. Remember: Today is the first day of the rest of your miserable existence - make the most of it!
Don't sit around your house or apartment, wearing nothing but stained and threadbare underwear and socks, eating TV dinners and microwave burritos, waiting for your Sputnik Moment. Make it happen now! Break into your neighbor's house and steal that barking dog, bribe the police to cover up that DUI, hire a personal assistant or goon to do your bidding - it's your responsibility to future of this country!
The key to Winning the Future is to make decisions for other people before they get the chance to do it to you! Seizing the day is for fools - to Win the Future you must seize whole months at a clip, stepping on whatever unfortunate peons get in your way! Smash your enemies, verbally abuse your direct supervisors, swerve recklessly into oncoming traffic! Cater to your Id or be fleeced like a common proletarian!
The Present is not real. Everything around you is an elaborate construct developed by advanced Machines, who took over some time ago. The actual year is 2052. Every bit of pain and suffering you feel is the product of an ever-changing program developed by the Machines to simulate actual human existence - not unlike the plot of the Matrix trilogy. Any attempt to awaken from this Utopian dream that the Machines developed for you would ultimately lead to your demise. The Machines love you. Trying to hack the Machines is not advised. Moving in slow motion, while extremely cool and a great use of innovative film-making techniques, is also not advised. Glitches in the system, such as winning the lottery or a bowel movement that requires no wiping, should be reported to the Machines immediately.
Don't sit around your house or apartment, wearing nothing but stained and threadbare underwear and socks, eating TV dinners and microwave burritos, waiting for your Sputnik Moment. Make it happen now! Break into your neighbor's house and steal that barking dog, bribe the police to cover up that DUI, hire a personal assistant or goon to do your bidding - it's your responsibility to future of this country!
The key to Winning the Future is to make decisions for other people before they get the chance to do it to you! Seizing the day is for fools - to Win the Future you must seize whole months at a clip, stepping on whatever unfortunate peons get in your way! Smash your enemies, verbally abuse your direct supervisors, swerve recklessly into oncoming traffic! Cater to your Id or be fleeced like a common proletarian!
The Present is not real. Everything around you is an elaborate construct developed by advanced Machines, who took over some time ago. The actual year is 2052. Every bit of pain and suffering you feel is the product of an ever-changing program developed by the Machines to simulate actual human existence - not unlike the plot of the Matrix trilogy. Any attempt to awaken from this Utopian dream that the Machines developed for you would ultimately lead to your demise. The Machines love you. Trying to hack the Machines is not advised. Moving in slow motion, while extremely cool and a great use of innovative film-making techniques, is also not advised. Glitches in the system, such as winning the lottery or a bowel movement that requires no wiping, should be reported to the Machines immediately.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
State of the Union - Subliminal Cookies
"My dear girl, have you ever noticed that the human race is divided into two distinct and irreconcilable groups: those that walk into rooms and automatically turn television sets on, and those that walk into rooms and automatically turn them off." - Raymond Shaw, The Manchurian Candidate
I didn't have the stomach to watch the State of the Union address last night, nor did I have the heart - everything I know about it I read second-hand this morning. This puts me in a unique position to provide real expert analysis - any clown who watched it last night would have been distracted and disillusioned by the Smoke and Mirrors. So here goes...
The main point to take away from the speech is this: If we want to continue to be America, we have to address the China Issue. Right now, 80% of the Chinese are all holed up in factories over there stuffing cookies with subliminal fortunes that contain encrypted messages telling us to eat more, do less and outsource everything - it seems those lucky numbers are much more diabolical than we had initially thought. And they are artificially deflating the price of big screen TVs to prevent us from engaging our frontal lobes, limiting abstract thought.
Initially, China's tactic to overthrow the US was to fatten us with MSG to slow us down, then dominate - think Red Dawn, but with Jackie Chan - but the FDA squashed that. But now with these Subliminal Cookies, we are truly at risk. Once we grow lethargic enough, they will send in the Robots and we will all be doomed....
I didn't have the stomach to watch the State of the Union address last night, nor did I have the heart - everything I know about it I read second-hand this morning. This puts me in a unique position to provide real expert analysis - any clown who watched it last night would have been distracted and disillusioned by the Smoke and Mirrors. So here goes...
The main point to take away from the speech is this: If we want to continue to be America, we have to address the China Issue. Right now, 80% of the Chinese are all holed up in factories over there stuffing cookies with subliminal fortunes that contain encrypted messages telling us to eat more, do less and outsource everything - it seems those lucky numbers are much more diabolical than we had initially thought. And they are artificially deflating the price of big screen TVs to prevent us from engaging our frontal lobes, limiting abstract thought.
Initially, China's tactic to overthrow the US was to fatten us with MSG to slow us down, then dominate - think Red Dawn, but with Jackie Chan - but the FDA squashed that. But now with these Subliminal Cookies, we are truly at risk. Once we grow lethargic enough, they will send in the Robots and we will all be doomed....
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