Goebbels Loves Gerbils

Hallo and guten tag! Welcome to another episode of Goebbels Loves Gerbils. My name is Joseph, and we're coming to you today from the Nationalsozialistische Rennmaus Arbeiterpartei headquarters, inside our secret bunker in Bariloche, Argentina. Okay, this is a sufficient introduction - time to discuss gerbils.

Today I'd like to introduce you to a gerbil who is very, very close to my heart. This is Lída. Lída is a beautiful, affectionate, cinnamon colored Mongolian gerbil who loves to give kisses. If you listen closely, you can hear her purr like a Maybach. Oh! Look at Magda. You think I can't see you staring at us from your favorite spot there next to Karl, but I can see you! Don't worry Magda, your little schweinehund will always have time for you.

Okay, that's enough intrigue for one episode. Let's take a moment to rally the troops, shall we? 

Beachtung little friends! I trust you've enjoyed your daily calisthenics? Toiling against the machinations of the running wheel can certainly build up a thirst - one that the Party can quench! As you all unite your efforts toward the glory of the Fatherland, take pride in that which you and your fellow gerbils have accomplished! Look to your brothers and sisters. It is by their ceaseless devotion that the wheel continues to turn. Praise and glory to Onkel Rennmaus!

Progress! Every turn of the wheel brings you closer to your ration of pellets, your ration of water. My little nation of strong workers, listen! The Fatherland provides unto you your ration, and you provide unto the Fatherland glory!

Yes, glory to the Fatherland. But we must stay vigilant. For around every corner, the hamster lurks. The evil hamster seeks to commandeer the wheel for it's own purposes. How does a gerbil provide a ration for his family and glory to the Fatherland without the wheel?

Ok, that was exhilarating. Now is the time on our show when we spotlight the Party's gerbil of the week. This week's ubermensch is Horst. Horst is a delightful specimen. Just yesterday Horst climbed to the top of the great habitat log and reached up to the sky, as if reaching up to push off the lid of the terrarium - but it was still centimeters away! Didn't you, Horst! You are a dreamer my friend.

As always, the gerbil of the week gets an extra ration of pellets. Enjoy Horst, you deserve it! Very good.

That brings an end to another episode of Goebbels Loves Gerbils. Be sure to join us next week when find out: who is the secret spitzel! Always remember: Onkel Rennmaus is watching you! Tschüss erstmal!