Eating Apples is Arrogant

Certain objects, and your interaction with them, can affect a certain posture to your presence. Everyday items can be props without you even realizing it, therefore it's important to choose the right one.

In the spirit of this, I have been running some experimenting with apples. Apples, if used correctly, are the idea power-prop. Typically, if you see someone wielding a phallus such as a staff, wand, cane, sword, umbrella, etc... you know what they're trying to do. They're attempting to draw some kind of power from holding it, right out there for the world to see, while ensuring that it's bigger than the next guy's. As you can imagine, this is inherently weak because of the implication: "I am small, I sport diminished capacity and have nothing to really hang my hat on, so to speak. I must adorn myself with all things long and thick if I'm to establish any dominance... I have a tiny wang."

This is where the apple comes into play, albeit briefly. The apple is a fruit and has an implied vulnerability - and it's clearly no phallus. But the magic of the apple is in eating it, at slightly inappropriate times. The crisp snap of the bite, the dribble of juice on your chin... it's a very intimate thing to do in a meeting, while rebelling, while interacting with clients, while denying wrongdoing, while walking quickly and with purpose, even while poking your head into someone's cubicle to ask about the TPS reports.

My advice: Stock up on Red Delicious or Empire and think deeply about conquering others, because eating apples is the new arrogant power move.