"My maiden aunt's mind is vicious, well maybe just a half a drink more..."
- Baby it's Cold Outside, Bing Crosby
We, like most Americans, have scuddled a conifer into our house. I shit you not, there is an entire tree in my house - everything but the root structure and squirrels... and soon we shall hang geegaws from it. But this, like most things in my house, must be kept an absolute secret - the last thing I need is to be overrun by neighborhood children foraging for presents. A villainous lot they are - pointy teethed little monsters with Stuff Lust in their eyes, poised and ready to spring with their wall-crawling action and kung-fu grip.
To fend off such paralyzing fears, we shall chug gallon upon gallon of eggnog watered down with cheap booze. Let our chins drip of this, the best nog of the season.
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