Everyone Was Cavemans

Happy Earthmas 2011!

As we get ready to take up arms for our annual New Year's Flogging, let us reflect on the truth, as ugly as it may be. New Year's is really just Christmas Part II. I know what's reluctantly about to slip from your quivering lips: But New Year's is Non-Denominational, and is therefore Atheistically Sacred! Well, I call Bullshit... we measure years in relation to Jesus. AD. Anno Domini. In the year of our lord.

And it seems that just before Jesus, BC, everyone was cavemans. Perhaps Jesus came along and waved his magic dinner at some neanderthals and Poof, civilization. Probably not, but he did come along and we did start counting. Now we're up to about 2011.

In thinking about this, I decided to google Jesus Year. Turns out it's an actual thing, and I'm about a year and a half away from mine - which fills me with sadness juice. Such is life.

Anyway, all that is moot as long as we get indigestion from the many gallons of champagne, make noise, drop balls and play kissy-face with strangers. That's what New Year's Eve is all about, right? Here's to new beginnings, old beginnings, bygones, resolutions, etc... Watch out for the fuzz, keep your head on straight and look out for those with herpes - because at the end of the count-down it's no holds barred and you're one greasy smooch away from starting 2011 off with a hefty Valtrex bill.