Eating People, One Foot at a Time

"Soylent Green is people!" - Charlton Heston

Today, my five dollar footlong came with the strange notion that maybe they aren't just baking bread at Subway. They have expanded their menu. They are, in fact (it would seem), baking people - babies to be specific. As I stood there on line, having placed the bread and meat part of the order, the girl arranging things on my bread called into the back room for Baby Cakes. I know, it sounds Delicious, but no cakes appeared. Perhaps the grinning patrons pay up front and go out back for delivery.

The Johnny Depp film Sweeney Todd reminds me of my childhood - sitting on the couch while my dad watched some PBS broadcast of the play. That was weird - not only because of the plot, but because any filmed play has a strange sense of voyeurism to it... there's a peeking through the window feel to the camera shots, everyone is far away and the actors don't know at the time that someone may be watching the performance from their living room, sometime in the distant future.

So the marketing Geniuses at Subway have reached well beyond Jared, and started serving breakfast and, you guessed it - delicious little baby cakes. I know that many of you will find this notion horrible and offensive, but is it? Are babies the new veal? Probably not as it would take quite a bit of convincing to sell that - but when we finally get to that point in the Grim and Distant future, I'm sure the cakes will be succulent, tender and delicious.

Edit: As a side note, it is important to mention that the film Soylent Green takes place in 2022. A mere twelve years in the future.