Everything's Coming Up Milhouse

The world may be ending, but it's never looked so good...

Things may not be as apocalyptic as I had first thought - perhaps this mass avian splat is just a Divine Wind, or some kind of indicator of economic recovery. When I heard that several quality pieces of legislation (911 Health Care, Extended Unemployment, DADT Repeal, etc...) were passed in the Zero Hour of 2010, I suspiciously expected the worst. But maybe good news is just Good News. Next thing you know they'll be handing out 50" plasma TVs to everybody.*

So I'm going to have to revoke yesterday's advice to Go Limp. At the time it was completely accurate and logistically sound. But it is a new day, so to that end heed this revised advice for 2011: Knives Out. It is time to dominate opportunity violently - this will be the year of the Great Windfall. The only way to get yours is to run headlong into the fray, with no fear in your heart, screaming ancient guttural battle cries.

* I've been told mine is in the mail.