Cutting Cakes With Doctor Awful - Part 3

Continued from Part 2...

As far back as he could remember, and much to the chagrin of his blood-relatives, friends, girlfriends, teachers, employers, and most acquaintances for that matter, Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal had always drawn the attentions of lunatics and feral half-breeds. These encounters almost always were accompanied by an acute risk of loss of limb, life, health, happiness or general well being. Strangely, though, it had never paid off, for good or ill.

Once, while walking down the street in a perfectly normal neighborhood, in a perfectly normal city, and in a absolutely normal fashion, Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal had stooped down to tie his shoe. There was no one around. Oh, but when he stood erect again, he encountered a stumbling and demanding Rabid Hipster - which is unusual, because it means that an otherwise normal person had probably purchased The Shins' Chutes Too Narrow or a Will Oldham album and grown an intense desire for irony, likely just before going complete batshit crazy. As unlikely as it is, we will take it for surface value and move forward.

During his interaction with the aforementioned Rabid Hipster very few facts remain clear, but we do know this: a lesser member of clergy's car was stolen (from which we can make certain assumptions of denomination based solely on the notion of ownership), no less than seven local house cats went missing (only three of which were outdoor cats), the local Stop and Shop was run completely out of butter and plungers, and all coffee urns from the area's twelve step programs went missing.

It's hard to judge what exactly happened during those three rain-free days, but even in speculation, the possibilities are endless. Did they eat those cats? Were they trying to make jailhouse wine? Was it all just an elaborate tribute to Toonces? We'll never know. But the point of this exercise, I guess, is in the fact that after those weird Autumn days, Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal surfaced unchanged, and never really mentioned it again. In fact, if pressed about what happened he would respond with "Nothing really..." because it was nothing, just Par For Course in the strange life of Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal.

To be continued (part 4)...