Continued from Part 3...
Earnest is probably the best word to describe the way in which Doctor Awful spread the prepackaged cream cheese frosting on the urinal cakes with the serrated bread knife. He was at the same time careful and haphazard, his intensity of focus occasionally overcome by twitchy fits of excitement which broadened the stroke of his frosting, extending the off-white smear across his work surface, which happened to be the trunk of his late 80's Honda Accord - a decrepit gray thing that leaked oil, had suffered severe raccoon damage leaving all interior upholstery ravaged, and smelled of musty old grapes from the outside.
There is a certain point in any illicit activity when it becomes wise to step back and let others perform the tasks that would otherwise leave a participant in a more actionable position, and at this point in his life, Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal was an excellent judge of these things - he had come a long way since his days as Young Disaffected Misanthrope. It was for this reason that he stood back and let Doctor Awful perform the act of Criminal Disguise on these non-food items. "He's never gonna eat those. What are you gonna tell him they are?"
"He will eat them, damn it! They're Moon Pies. His favorite." Doctor Awful said through his gnashed teeth while attempting to affect some artistic pizzazz with his brush.
"You see, that's where you're wrong - for one, even if they weren't cut in half, they are still way too chunky. And, Moon Pies aren't even frosted. You are a fool, this will never work." With that, Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal walked away.
"Okay, fine... they're Half-Moon Pies." Doctor Awful shouted, "He'll love them! He loves to eat piss!"
To be continued (part 5)...
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