Zombear Time Machine

"This was when Billy first came unstuck in time. His attention began to swing grandly through the full arc of his life, passing into death, which was violet light. There wasn't anybody else there, or anything. There was just violet light – and a hum." - Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five

I recently became unstuck in time, to quote the late-great Vonnegut, and I come bearing news of the worst and most horrible kind. It was not two weeks ago that I was putting the finishing touches on another brutal week of cubicle duty by setting a great fire to much of the lumber that had come crashing down in the recent hurricane. This was all celebrated by inviting a few people over to observe the fire and enjoying a few cocktails. But, some time around 10 PM things went horribly awry, owing much to strong drink, and I inadvertently stepped into my time machine.

It was a horrible sight indeed. I was transported to somewhere around 2035, and as you can imagine, the Zombies had taken over - only, not in the same sense that you would expect. Sure, the cities were safe, but the suburbs... words cannot describe the horror and irrational turn reality had taken. Contrary to popular belief, the Zombie scourge was not of human origin after all. There, in the suburban streets of 2035, lurked a kind of monster much more cruel and ominous - Zombears. Once one of those big bastards gets within mauling distance, there's little hope.

For those interested, the cocktail that temporarily unstuck me:

Zombear Time Machine

1 part Appleton Dark Rum
1 part Absolute Citron
1 part Pineapple Juice
1 part Red Bull
1 splash Orange Juice
1 more part Appleton Dark Rum

Pour all over ice, stir. Light a fire in the fire pit in the back yard, invite a few people over. As people start to show up, make another. Maybe make a third, not sure. Pass out by 10 PM.