Monday, September 19, 2011

Cutting Cakes With Doctor Awful - Part 1

Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal stood at the middle urinal in a row of three, tending to business - thinking, breathing, trying not to breath, peeing obviously, when suddenly bursting into the tiled industrial men's room was an irate and clearly erratic Doctor Awful.

Without skipping a beat Doctor Awful grabbed Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal by his lapels and pulled him away from his attentions, slamming him against the concrete and ceramic tile wall, which was filthy, covered in several years of the foulest grime. Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal was not finished with the urinal, and in the suddenness of the moment wet Doctor Awful's pants for him.

Undestracted and now fully focused on Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal, Doctor Awful started shouting orders directly into Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal's face, dotting his cheeks, nose, lips, eyes and chin with frothy white coagulated spit.

"There isn't much time! You have a knife, don't you? Well you're going to need it, pal. We've got to cut these cakes in half - immediately! Here, take these." Doctor Awful began scooping up the urinal cakes, one by one, try dramatically to free them from their slotted plastic housing, eventually resorting to using his teeth to bite through the plastic.

Never being one to shy away from a challenge, Mr. Somewhat Reasonably Normal zipped up, then took each urinal cake, placed it on the floor, and pressed the blade of his pocket knife against the waxy puck until it split, releasing a fragrant waft of moth ball.

To be continued (part 2)...

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