Blue Laws, Balls

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day..." - Frank Sinatra

With everything going on in Egypt, it's easy to forget what's going on Right Here. Connecticut is in the throes of a Great Ratification of Biblical importance: We stand on the precipice of the repeal of the most ugly of Blue Laws - the ban on Sunday Liquor Sales. Governor Dan Malloy has pledged his allegiance to the cause with Martini in hand. He is on the Pro-Convenience, Anti-Prohibitionist band wagon, promising to sign the legislation into law once it hits his desk.

But all could be lost in these last tweedling hours of this archaic religious law that date back to the 1600's. There is a rogue contingent of angry liquor store owners who call themselves the Connecticut Package Store Association, who would inhibit our happiness at the cost of some $8 million in tax revenue. They are armed with torches and wooden legs, storming a Public Hearing as I write this, trying, hopefully in vain, to put the kibosh on this innovative bit of freedom, insisting that their special treatment persevere. For Shame.

If this imperative bit of legislation doesn't come to pass, I implore you to join my cause - if I can't get booze on Sunday, I will push to Prohibit the sale of Sporting Goods on Sundays. For Sunday is the Lord's day, and I think we can all agree that you shouldn't be playing with balls on his time.