Keys, Locks, Organized Crime

While I wait to hear back from the Hawaii board of tourism about the amount of violence in the new CBS drama Hawaii Five-O, I think I can support a divergent topic...

When did keys become such a racket? These car companies have become insane with greed - they spent way too much time on the sidelines watching hardware stores get rich printing off copies of ignition keys on the cheap. You used to be able to get a key for a Ford for a buck. Not any more.

I had a Nissan Altima (still do, it's sitting in my driveway waiting to adopt a lucky new owner), I bought it used and it only came with one key. The one key was a little broken and eventually didn't hang on to a key ring anymore and floated loosely in my pocket.

One day I rode the Boulder Dash, the worlds best wooden roller coaster, with the key tucked safely in my pocket. Somehow it floated out into the woods. Stuck at Lake Compounce, I left my car and called ahead to a friend to pick Jenny and I up. The next day I had the car towed to a Nissan Dealer and fork over $150 to make a new key because nobody else can. They had me cornered, what could I do?

And again with the Jetta. Only one key. Who does that? When you trade in your car, give up the keys! You'll never find your car again you fool, and even if you do, you'll never have that key in your pocket to open it. And even if you do, there won't be anything awesome in it to take.