Big, Nasty, Unbreaded Turd

Is Friday a bad time to expound philosophically on our current system of Government? I'd say; but like any bad idea, I'm all for it. Sure, it's easy to talk about this Over Here, where, with a high powered telescope you can watch what the vicious youth tribes are doing in the streets over in Union Jack Country. Those are ugly times, indeed. My prediction, for betting folks who follow world news and Politics is this: the next big riots will be in Asia - either the Mongoloid-North of China or one of the many Korea's, but either way, that's the next big mosh pit. After that? Probably Canada or Mexico. I hear Juarez is particularly nasty this time of year...

But I seem to have gotten off track here. Our current system of Government is a lot like a big, nasty, continuously expanding Shit Sandwich that you are forced to eat or suffer horribly at the at the end of poison-tipped spears and shiny leather whips. Some people eat the Shit Sandwich with a half-hearted smile and don't argue. Some people are anarchists and try to run past the spears. But the meat of the argument here falls on the Politicians, of which their are two kinds - the ones who want nice even Shit Sandwiches for everyone on nice plates with a napkin and a big glass of milk to make it all go down easier, and those who just want smaller shit sandwiches. Two Parties, One Cup.

Sure, a smaller Shit Sandwich sounds great - but the Shit Sandwich is constantly growing, albeit proportionally. So when the demand for smaller Shit Sandwiches is heard and addressed, first they make it smaller by taking away the napkin and the milk, then the plate, so you're left with this big nasty bastard in your hand. Then they start trimming away the bread - all the while stuffing in even more shit, saying, "Nope, we gotta get rid of all this shit..." So the end game here is that you're left with a big, nasty, unbreaded turd, right in the palm of your hand and a big frown on your face.

It seems that any attempt to trim down Government always leaves us with all the legislation we don't want, and kills all the useful and socially beneficial services. Of course, go to far in the other direction and we're all sitting at metal folding tables with acrylic vases filled with plastic flowers, wearing Shit Sandwich eating gloves and lobster bibs, staring off at a framed painting of good ol' Chairman Mao, who's creepy, child-like eyes seem to follow you around the room...