I don't care if Anthony Weiner took a picture of his dong and photoshopped an angry headshot of Hillary Clinton in place of it's usual helmet, used it as the profile picture for a blog he ghostwrote about his angry short-haired penis' and it's attitudes toward offensive rap lyrics or Africa's ties with Moammar Gadhafi. Nor would I care if Steve Jobs did the same. Nor would I care if Newington Mayor Mike Lenares did it. Or the guy who works at the gas station. Because it doesn't effect they way they do their job until every national media outlet is bullying everyone into pretending they care about it, saying in an angry, doofy voice: "Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But what can I say? Everyone is out of their goddamn minds; the only thing left to do is buckle up, close your eyes and wait for the crash. Hell, just this past weekend I showed up to a friends birthday party with a quart of serious heavy duty poison and raised no eyebrows. There's just no pleasing these people.
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