Big, Nasty, Unbreaded Turd

Is Friday a bad time to expound philosophically on our current system of Government? I'd say; but like any bad idea, I'm all for it. Sure, it's easy to talk about this Over Here, where, with a high powered telescope you can watch what the vicious youth tribes are doing in the streets over in Union Jack Country. Those are ugly times, indeed. My prediction, for betting folks who follow world news and Politics is this: the next big riots will be in Asia - either the Mongoloid-North of China or one of the many Korea's, but either way, that's the next big mosh pit. After that? Probably Canada or Mexico. I hear Juarez is particularly nasty this time of year...

But I seem to have gotten off track here. Our current system of Government is a lot like a big, nasty, continuously expanding Shit Sandwich that you are forced to eat or suffer horribly at the at the end of poison-tipped spears and shiny leather whips. Some people eat the Shit Sandwich with a half-hearted smile and don't argue. Some people are anarchists and try to run past the spears. But the meat of the argument here falls on the Politicians, of which their are two kinds - the ones who want nice even Shit Sandwiches for everyone on nice plates with a napkin and a big glass of milk to make it all go down easier, and those who just want smaller shit sandwiches. Two Parties, One Cup.

Sure, a smaller Shit Sandwich sounds great - but the Shit Sandwich is constantly growing, albeit proportionally. So when the demand for smaller Shit Sandwiches is heard and addressed, first they make it smaller by taking away the napkin and the milk, then the plate, so you're left with this big nasty bastard in your hand. Then they start trimming away the bread - all the while stuffing in even more shit, saying, "Nope, we gotta get rid of all this shit..." So the end game here is that you're left with a big, nasty, unbreaded turd, right in the palm of your hand and a big frown on your face.

It seems that any attempt to trim down Government always leaves us with all the legislation we don't want, and kills all the useful and socially beneficial services. Of course, go to far in the other direction and we're all sitting at metal folding tables with acrylic vases filled with plastic flowers, wearing Shit Sandwich eating gloves and lobster bibs, staring off at a framed painting of good ol' Chairman Mao, who's creepy, child-like eyes seem to follow you around the room...

Glass Half Empty? Shut It Down!

Tonight at midnight, the government may or may not shut down. This is not Scary, and should not induce Fear - it is simply a dick-measuring game of chicken being played between the Democrats and the Republicans, at the negligent expense of Us, where they're battling to see in which way they will be screwing us for the rest of the year.

Sure, it will effect anyone who draws non-Social Security income from Uncle Sam or likes to engage in illicit activities in the shady groves and lush underbrush of our National Parks or - better still - in the dark corners of our Courthouses. But those with filthy habits will find other places to lurk and Social Security will be back up and running in no time - so to quote the great Alfred E. Newman; "What, me worry?"

The root of this hogwash seems to be in the fact that the Republicans are being out Republicaned by Tea Partiers, who are calling for broader sweeping budget cuts - but again, this is all moot because what they're really arguing about are outdated and arcane philosophies about Women's health and air quality. But while our Congressmen hide in back rooms palming each others balls as John Boehner looks on with a tear in his eye, take comfort in the fact that when the Government does shut down tonight, at least the paychecks of the egregious bastards who got us into this pickle will go uninterrupted.

WikiLeaks for Dummies

A brief synopsis...

WikiLeaks is a website dedicated to disseminating sensitive information, typically whistle blowing type information. They got their hands on some Cables - IE communications - from various American Diplomats, and put them on the internet. This is the equivalent of publishing a high school girl's text messages and passing them around the school.

Sure the information is sensitive - but in ten years the event will be remembered as a bold move to create transparency in American Government.  So let's not get all upset just yet.

As for the fella in charge, Julian Assange, he is not American, nor is he living anywhere near America. This means two things: 1 - He can't be tried for treason. 2 - He can't site freedom of speech. The backlash for the Big Dump will be swift and painful. This happening is seen by the American Government as Big-Time Enemy stuff. This guy is hosed. From now on, everything he touches will turn to poison. No country will help him because it could have easily been their cables.

Who knows if the Sex Crime charges against him are true - it doesn't matter. What may or may not have happened between Julian, two women, an ostrich and a frozen turkey is of little concern - it's certainly nothing Australia would extradite over. This is just the neat little bow tied on the fact that he has been bundled up and handed over. He has allowed himself to become an information martyr to the US. When the wash finally gets pulled from the line, we won't have the same access to cheap and easy information that we did for this one shining moment in history. Here lies the Spirit of the Internet 1989*-2010. May it rest In peace.

* Let's not split hairs here.