Mindbending, Twenty Pound Cat

“I hope if dogs take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas...” - Jack Handy

It looks like I will be attempting to write up the Art of Speed show, in short order, and submitting it somewhere. There is photographic evidence, out there, of my inebriated note-taking in some hip young bar in downtown Middletown, so the jig is up. I haven't yet looked at those notes... I'm too afraid. I remember scratching something out in the bleak darkness on the ride home, from the back seat of my own car - it was that kind of night. It takes some considerable skill to write when you can't see...

I feel the need to reiterate the genius that is Charlie Sheen. I'm convinced that he failed in trying to connive some unscrupulous pay upgrade, and in retaliation is torpedoing the show with excessive strange behavior and megalomaniacal social media mindbending. Kudos to him, it's a hell of a ride.

Lastly, from left field: the cat's asshole exploded on Sunday night. This is no metaphor - ruptured anal gland, vet, antibiotics, recovery... It's a bit like Weird Christmas, she runs around exited, surprised, constantly stopping to look behind her. Good News: contrary to the assumed facts, this twenty pound isn't to fat to clean herself.

Lowbrow Art Descends on Middletown, Scares Natives

"No, ma'am, I haven't seen my daddy in years. But my mama say he's out racing cars and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves." - Ricky Bobby

Tonight's the night - the Art of Speed hot rod art show opens tonight at MAC 650 Artspace gallery at 650 Main ST in Middletown. The show features a surprising amount of Japanese artists, which is relevant to my interests because I am an honorary Asian...

The show is being put on by the same guy who brought us the Hot Rod Fall Out, so if all goes according to plan, it should be just as good. It seems that the promoter is selfishly trying to bring cool things to our fair state and instigate the development of a burgeoning scene.

It should be a good show - Fast Cars, Loose Women and Strong Drinks... how could you go wrong? I may even attempt to cover it from some confused mental state. But the bottom line is: I will be prepared - I have flushed The Fear from my mind, and so should you.