Are you done with dining out? Tired of asking why is there so much Sprite in my martini? Why in god’s name did I order the rabbit burrito? If my drink arrives after the check, did it ever really come?
Never again!
What if I told you that individual portions of real groceries could arrive at your door thrice daily, complete with instructions on how to turn these readily available ingredients into a scant meal of food?
Say goodbye to restaurant regret with Nah, You Cook it Dummy!
Why bother with the hassle of takeout or kludgy grocery delivery apps. With Nah, You Cook it Dummy, you get only the ingredients for your meal and not a pinch more. Just the stuff you need to chop, dice, and sauté your way to another spin around this nightmarish hellscape.
Our team of recipe curators scours Insta daily for the most photographed dishes and reverse-engineers them in our quantity labs into Depression-era, single-serve portions. We then source only the freshest, most ethically sustainable ingredients and indoctrinate them into a complex, ever-changing ideology that drifts on the breeze of the latest milieu, ensuring you a reproach-free meal experience.
The savvy do-it-yourselfer will love Nah, You Cook it Dummy. Our recipe study guides will get you ready for your proctored online video exam. With your new expertise on topics such as heirloom artichoke propagation and famous soufflés throughout history, you’ll never mis-prepare a meal. Our exclusive military-grade locking container keeps your ingredients sequestered indefinitely until you complete the exam with at least 90% proficiency.
Next time some asshole suggests Applebee’s, tell ‘em Nah, You Cook it Dummy!
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